the pregnant woman
as goddess
By Leslie McIntyre"Birthwoman" by Caren Catterall
Pregnancy is a journey into the mystery of life as it emerges from the female body, a sacred event by which we may reclaim the Authentic Feminine Authority.
When life grows in the womb, a woman is changed. She experiences a range of emotions and feelings that cannot be explained away by the intellect. She encounters the forces of creation within her--inside her.
Life grows all by itself in the womb. It does not have to be told what to do by the ruling fathers nor does it seek permission from them to be. Our ancestors the world over, prior to 5000 years ago, revered this stage of life, as it was embodied by the female. Many of the Neolithic figurines found throughout Europe, the Middle East, and North Africa are full-figured women, symbolizing the abundance of life, fertility and pregnancy. Many of the cave paintings from the Paleolithic are of pregnant animals.
The pregnant woman as Goddess is an embodiment of life's miracle.
When life was growing in my womb, I felt deeply honored and grateful. I had decided to have children, and my pregnancies were planned. I'm sure this contributed to my feeling honored. Even though an unplanned pregnancy is still a manifestation of the miracle of life, it may not be so great for the mother to have a child when she is not ready.
And in patriarchy, it is difficult to be ready. Many women get pregnant because they feel it will give them some meaning in their lives. Teen-age pregnancy is on the rise. I believe there is a correlation between the low self-esteem girls begin to feel in their early teens and teen-age pregnancy.
<The pregnant woman as Goddess is someone who wants and welcomes pregnancy and has the maturity to care for another human being--to meet the needs of that child and to psychically understand that child.
In a society without violence, where people live in harmony with all ages and different races, as in Neolithic Turkey, in Catal Hyuk, this maturity would be a natural progression.
A pregnant woman would have the advantage of being with others who knew the path she was about to tread. She would be cared for and honored. She would feel blessed. Her body would be looked upon as beautiful in its roundness and fullness. She would not live the trauma of feeling ugly or "out-of- shape", and therefore obsessed with getting "back into shape" as soon as possible following birth.
If a woman can experience her pregnancy as an act of power, as part of her own spiritual unfolding, she will come to know the profound ecstasy of being alive. She will come to know in her body the spiritual teachings of ineffable mystical enlightenment and mystery--because those teachings live in her body. If she is allowed to grow with the life that is growing inside of her, she comes to know her own woman-Nature--the nature of life and the life of nature. If she is allowed to be free in her experience of pregnancy, without the interfering invasions of male medicine, she comes to the experience of the abundance of life--the abounding dance of life. When she can touch this ecstasy, whole unto herself, and controlled by no one, she creates and gives to the world a being who embodies this wisdom.
Most pregnancy today is controlled by the male mindset that does not have first-hand knowledge of the ecstasy of pregnancy. Many women are conditioned to believe that they have some kind of "condition" when they are pregnant. Unfortunately, many women are not in touch with what pregnancy can really be for them, and suffer under the legacy of the patriarchal constructs of piety and drudgery; as Martin Luther put it, "If a woman grows weary and, at last, dies from child-bearing, it matters not. Let her die from bearing; she is there to do it." Pope Pius XII said in 1941, "The pains that, since original sin, a mother has to suffer to give birth to her child only draw tighter the bonds that bind them; she loves it the more, the more pain it has cost her." These are jealous male concepts of birth. There is no acknowledging the sacredness of the process by which life comes to be. These are the teachings of scared-ness, once again thrust upon women as if it is our lot, decreed to be so by the guy-in-the-sky and his femophobic emissaries of religion and medicine.
Pregnancy, left to empowered women to manage, brings forth new life in a psychic-biological-spiritual renewal. It is the same energy bursting in spring when flowers bloom and fill the air with their sweet fragrance singing of abundance. The pregnant woman as Goddess does the same--she is the Earth singing her praises of abundance, celebrating new life with her own body--from early conception to first stirrings, to swelling into fruition.
The wheel of life celebrated by early and current Earth-worshippers reflects the exact same process. New light/life is honored at the Winter Solstice, followed by the mid-way point between the Winter and Spring, Imbolc, "meaning something like 'in the belly,' a reference to the new gestation of the world spirit within the Mother. It became a fire festival, betokening the potential heat of a new growing season." (see Barbara Walker, Women's Rituals, pg. 120.) The Vernal Equinox heralds this new life as the days and nights are in balance, and the light/life is renewed by the waxing of the sun's energy. Swelling life moves to another midway point between the equinox and summer solstice. Beltane (May 1) is a time of honoring sexuality and its' regenerative qualities. Thanks is given for the new green carpets of grass, dotted with splashes and fragrances of wild flowers. The Goddess is honored and celebrated as she continues to bless the people with returning life.
Life ripens on the vine, as in the belly of the Mother, and life moves into full ripening at the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year, the sun is at its highest point in the sky. Light and warmth abound. The pregnant woman gives birth when her "fruit" is ripe, and the Earth gives us her bounty when all has ripened. There are other holy-days in this wheel of life celebrated by Earth-lovers, but these are the ones that correspond well with pregnancy.
Pregnancy as a physical event is something that a woman should choose to experience. Otherwise, it becomes a burden. Children should be wanted.
In patriarchy, it is difficult for a woman to feel she has value unless she gets married and bears children. We are made to feel that bearing children is what we are here for -- so that the phallocracy can be populated with more brains to be washed.
I have known women who, for whatever reasons, have chosen to not have children, and they have experienced a certain kind of pain that speaks of incompletion as a woman. They have had to struggle with this pain, and resolve that they are whole, beautiful women who have simply chosen to give birth in other ways. I honor these women and support any woman who eschews the oppression of child-bearing when it is done out of conditioning and not from freedom of choice. It's very difficult to make free decisions when one is brainwashed and conditioned--when a woman is made to think that she is here to please a man; that she is not whole until she "has" a man; and that she is complete when she "gives" him children. Women who experience pregnancy from this perspective are not free to relish the sacred mystery their bodies contain. The focus is on how one feels "sick", how "fat" one is, how uncomfortable one is, how one hopes it will all be over soon--including making plans to be "knocked out" during the birth experience.
Interesting how we use phrases like "knocked-up" and "knocked-out" when making references to pregnancy and birth! Both pregnancy and birth have nothing to do with being knocked around--but in patriarchy, they are connected. These are male terms and definitions rendering the sacred profane, in order to control and minimize the importance of life itself. When women live on a steady diet of this consciousness, if we have never been told or initiated by elders into our power, how can we be expected to know what is real?
The pregnant woman as Goddess opens herself to the new life that grows within her. If she has chosen to bear a child she allows the growth of life within her to teach her, to guide her.
Yes, sometimes there is discomfort, and upset stomach. For me, this was a kind of purification. I was being prepared to let go of my previous life, and to embrace a new one. I had to slow down and take better care of myself. I had to allow time for rest and I had to eat more nutritiously. I had to pay more attention to my body than I ever had.
I became very sensitive to energy--that is, I became quite "elemental". My consciousness changed from being aware of just myself to constantly being aware of another who was always with me. What I put into me, I put into her, physically and psychically. What an amazing spiritual experience--to have a life growing within me and to have to think about that life in addition to my own. It was like my own life was expanding into a new dimension. I was changing in a way where I would be forever different.
I was fortunate enough to have made a conscious decision about wanting a child. I was also fortunate to be living in a spiritual community where women were honored more than I had ever known. I was living very simply and close to the earth, without electricity and running water. The wildness of nature surrounded me, as well as the caring connection of community. There were other women pregnant with me at the same time, and I was able to share a deep sisterhood with them. I was tended by caring midwives who were also my friends. When we were not in clinic, sometimes we would be hoeing side-by-side in the corn fields, or canning food together for the coming winter.
Since this community had over 1000 people at one time, there was a constant reflection of the cycle of life, as it comes through a woman's body, visible in every stage. Pregnant women, birthing women, nursing women, and women with babes in arms were common sights. When a woman went into labor, nearly everyone knew, and I could feel the support of the entire community.
It is a miracle to me that I was able to experience being pregnant in an empowering environment because patriarchy has instilled in women that we don't know how to give life without the male e-dicks of patriarchy. I had no male doctors telling me how to be pregnant, and no male idiot-ologies dictating to me the "right" way to be pregnant. Birth-giving was primarily in the hands of the women.
If any man displayed disrespect while in attendance of his partner's birth, he was asked to leave until he could get himself together. If he couldn't, he could not attend. And it was the women who took care of the energy and it was the women who decided about the man's behavior. He knew he could not argue with the council of midwives and the birthing woman--if they felt his energy to be inappropriate, he was given the opportunity to become humble, and deal.
I was treated, for the most part, with grace and respect within the community, and so my babies were born in a loving environment, naturally, at home. The experience of giving birth twice in this manner completely changed my idea of who I thought I was. I was greatly empowered. I became one with all women who have ever birthed, and experiencing that sisterhood was ecstatic.
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