January 2, 2003
Patricia Smith
Melton
Awakened Woman's Circle is working for peace
Now let's figure out how to make peace
Woman's circle generates global network
By Stephanie Hiller
Hidden in plain sight is something we do not yet see or feel, a global revolutionary movement, and that as world violence closes in, tightening the global ring of hatred and war, a pearl is forming…
In mid-January of this year, a group of women gathered in circle to talk about peace. They were the guests in the Washington DC home of Patricia Smith Melton, a woman who literally woke up one morning after 9-11 with a mission. "I woke up September 18 with the strong sense that there needs to be a dialogue in a circle of five to nine women to answer the question, what is peace and how can women be empowered to create it?
"I knew absolutely that this would happen and I realized I had to take part in it by calling incredible women together."
In a few days, seven women, most of whom had never heard of her, said "yes." their weekend of dialogue three months later was taped and produced 600 pages of transcripts.
SUSAN COLLIN MARKS: "What I've always seen, when I describe peace is, peace is a circle, a whole. When it is broken into different pieces, that is violent conflict, that is what violence is."BARBARA MARX HUBBARD: "Whenever you create a space where there is a certain amount of safety and respect and deep sharing and compassionate listening, people tend to get the next level, to reach it and to resonate within it. This is a circle. I believe in the circle as a means of engendering peace at whatever level is possible."
ISABEL ALLENDE: "The more I think about peace, I think peace starts and ends in connection. When we connect, we learn about the other. It's not tolerance, but understanding, acceptance. In the connection, everything starts to happen."
These were women of consummate experience in the work of peace-making, from five different parts of the world. Dr. Azizah Y. al-Hibri, Muslim-American law professor; Isabel Allende, Latin American author; Dr. Hanan Ashrawi, spokesperson for the Palestinian people; Fatima Gailani, Sunni Muslim Afghan, member Afghanistan's loya jirga; Barbara Marx Hubbard, author and futurist, Founder and Director of The Foundation of Conscious Evolution and of the Peace Room (Internet); Alma Jadallah, Palestinian Muslim-American, holds a degree in conflict resolution; Susan Collin Marks, South African, was a facilitator of South Africa's Peace Accord.
In their weekend of conversation, the women concluded that the qualities which characterize peace are the same as the conditions necesary to achieving it: recognition of our common humanity; open communication and receptive listening; nurturing, wholeness and healing; restorative justice, which relies on mediation to develop responsibility rather than punishment, which causes more suffering and shame; deep democracy; creativity, and equal rights.
What emerged from the founding circle is a new non-profit, Peace X Peace, which is producing a full-length documentary film about women's circles here and abroad called "PEACE X PEACE: Building Adalah". It will "show the unseen cumulative power of the work of women."
"Adalah is a Muslim word for which there is no direct equivalent in English; in essence, adalah is a substantive peace, rather than a barren end to violent conflict," Melton writes at the web site. Filming, which began last summer, will document women's circles in Afghanistan, Burundi, Bosnia, Argentina, and the US. The film will be used as an informational tool to inspire women to link their circles in a Global Network.
Patricia explains at the website: "The film is intended to tell a vast audience how their group, whatever it may be -- a book club, a mosque group, a grieving group -- can form with an intent towards peace and be connected directly with women-based groups working in troubled nations to support each other." A book is also planned as a companion text and guide for the Global Network and the documentary.
"These women in the original Peace By Peace dialogue showed also how the circle structure itself bonds people and draws from them their best ideas. A circle is more than the sum of its partners, and it is the structure that brings balance between "feminine" and "masculine" qualities. It supports the qualities needed to achieve and sustain peace -- inclusiveness, compassion, questioning and listening, nurturing and protecting, healing, and restorative justice."
These qualities do not have equal power in the world with the dominant "masculine" qualities of linear thinking, structure, competition, hierarchy, and control over others. These "masculine" approaches to "solving the problems" of conflict don't work: more people were killed in wars during the 20th century than at any other time of history. Instead of "solving problems" the emphasis needs to be on building peace. "This is women's expertise and where women must lead."
Melton, 59, who facilitated the conversation, is herself a woman of considerable achievements. "I've been and done many, many things," she told me. She's the mother of a grown daughter and three step children. She was a professional photographer for many years and taught at the Smithsonian.
"One thing I'm very proud of. For 14 years I was an entrepreneur buying and selling vintage quilts. Now most of my own collection of quilts made before 1850 is in the permanent collection of the Smithsonian which published a book about them in connection with an exhibition at the Renwick (Smithsonian) Gallery in Washington DC. The show is now scheduled to tour for a year." The quilts are at the Renwick because Patricia gave them her collection.
After that she co-founded with her husband an international education foundation called the Melton Educational Foundation. "It is a model where we simply went to different countries, give students computers and set up Internet connections. We bring them together once a year for a symposium. Now the organization operates completely on its own, with students creating projects in each of their nations." That was her model for the project she is doing now. After that, she went into playwriting, and had many plays produced in the Midwest, New York and Washington which have received national recognition, including the prestigious Jane Chambers Awards.
She has not been wasting her time.
I met Patricia at a retreat held by Millionth Circle in March of last year, where she described her project. At the time, I was incensed that Bush was leading us toward nuclear war (he revealed his "new nuclear posture" a few days later) and felt we must do something to stop it. At dinner I bombarded her with my outrage and sense of urgency. She heard me out, agreeing that the situation was urgent. But her approach was different. She was oriented toward building peace, rather than opposing war. I was impressed with the poise and demeanor, an elegant combination of strong conviction with gentility. Without hesitation, she was prepared to head off to Afghanistan in the fall to film women's circles there.
After she returned, I interviewed her by phone.
How does she feel about the project thus far, I asked her. "It's going very, very well," she said, but noted that the experience of Afghanistan caused a "major realignment" for her. "There was danger and there is incredible hardship every day for these beautiful people, these beautiful women whom I've grown to love and admire for the simple act of getting up every day."
Filming took place in a women's cooperative bakery in Kabul and in the tiny mud-walled rooms of home schools; photos may be seen at the website.
Women by their everyday activities are doing the work of holding their communities together, she told me. Rearing children, preparing food, braving the Taliban to maintain some form of education, they are building peace; but the value of their work goes unseen. Her purpose is to show this powerful action of women wherever they are.
The process has continued to challenge her to grow. "At each point there was a step to be taken and at each step I had to step up to the bat and grow again, to understand that my personal hesitations are not of interest here."
How do the women in Kabul feel about the American attacks there? Has it helped them at all?
"Stephanie, this is not an easy question to answer. Certainly the fast answer is "yes," and it IS correct, make no mistake about it, at least in and around Kabul where I was. But let me give you example. We were given permission to film in two of the girls' and women's home schools in Paghman an hour outside of Kabul. When we arrived, we found that permission had been withdrawn from one of those schools. The father, husbands, and brothers said "no" and that if we filmed, their daughters, wives, and sisters would not be allowed to continue in school. The theory was that if they were on film they would be equated with prostitutes.
"Now there were NO schools in Paghman before, and now the females are learning literacy in Dari at a fantastic rate but really only so long as the men agree. In the other school permission held because it was further from town and most of the students had some relationship to a large extended family where the male head was strong and liberal. But even there, some of the students kept veils over their faces.
"And we all heard about the three girls' home schools that were recently bombed just outside of Kabul. It wasn't these schools, but it could have been.
"I don't want to convey the wrong information. I met incredible females who are visible, courageous, and determined to take this opportunity that is in front of them to get educated and to make their lives better. Some of these women were elected into the loya jirga and they made their voices heard. And some of those women knew they would be returning to villages without protection around them, or to homes where they would not have protection."
The task before them is huge. "These women are rebuilding lives as they grieve. It's a dual process. They're not all bringing a stored up reservoir of energy and plans for the future. Some are, actually. I met them, but I also met women who lost everyone, every single member of their family. My sense was that it is like when something that is too tight is unbound. More freedom, yes, but when feeling first returns, it's very painful.
"Remember these are women who are in the process of remaking their lives as the members of the family who survived. Now that their lives are easier and they can meet and talk, there are two fundamental things that must happen. 1) They must experience safety before they can act in the ways that people act when they are safe. You don't take the burqa off if you know your neighbor is a fundamentalist who might be back in power someday. And 2) they have to mourn
"It's with the children that you see the future. They gather now and play - whole streets of boys and girls using the rubble of former homes as playgrounds - and they fly kites and laugh and do funny tricks for the camera. With them you go, 'This is why we have to do the best we can do.' Then it's simple."
Now we face the impending war on Iraq. I asked Patricia, How does the present crisis affect your work?
"I have been constantly balancing my personal politics against the need for the Global Network to be very, very inclusive. There have been times when I must admit I've been baffled as to how to proceed, and I've turned back to the women of the Original Circle to ask for advice and guidance.
"Now I feel clear that I want everyone to bring their most thoughtful self into the Global Network and that may include people who think this [war on Iraq] is the best thing to do.
"I must balance any personal politics against the need for the Global Network to be inclusive of everyone as they struggle to find their answers to what is best action. During the uncertainty and anguish of this time, it's more and more clear that the most powerful message of Peace by Peace is its emphasis on recognizing each other as 'family.' We must state the premises behind that in ways that are so true and so clear that people recognize their truth and want to find their way to follow its course. I have to trust that through connection, wisdom will find its way, and I'm not about to define that ahead of time. This entire venture has to allow for the possibility of answers better than any we've thought of so far."
I think it's fair to say this statement blew me away. For me, it was difficult to imagine not taking a stand against this war, which threatens so much suffering and misery, not only in Iraq but throughout the Middle East. But as she spoke I glimpsed the heart she was speaking from, and it left me speechless.
"We need a viable citizens' democracy," she said. "We need deep democracy, a true citizen's democracy, and the Internet is a primary tool for that. We are seeing citizens using the Internet in so many ways to express what they feel! I see more than ever how important it is that the Global Network go forward as fast as is consistent with doing it right and good."
Right and good.
"These times demand that people be informed, it's too dangerous to make decisions based on assumptions. The Internet is not only a way for citizens to organize and communicate their opinions but it is the primary tool for global education -- to be informed directly and personally by one another all over the world. You expand this education by connections throughout the world and you begin to have an informed citizenry that -- globally -- knows each other's lives, hopes, needs, and dreams. We come to matter to each other, and we're willing to make sure our governments become informed too."
Since that conversation, our Woman's Council, formed in the spring of last year, has become linked with a circle of women in Kabul. We are in the process of introducing ourselves to each other. I find myself overwhelmed by what they have been through, what they are facing still, and how their courageous spirit carries them forward. My own life experience seems so small by contrast, so easy, that I am embarrassed. What can I possibly say to women who have seen so much? How can I encourage them to speak, so that I can listen? Will we be able to help? The thought of disappointing them is simply not bearable.
I still believe that women must come out in droves to protest against violence and war. But I also know that if our council can actually make some small contribution to the work of our sister circle in Kabul, it will feel very good indeed. A bond will be made between us, as women working together, which will strengthen our separate voices, bridging the distance between our countries, the differences in culture, and reinforcing our commitment to peace.
And so I begin to see what Patricia and her circle are doing here. If many circles become linked through this Global Network (and other networks too) we will have a web of power not easily broken -- a bulwark, perhaps, against the bombs of war -- another way to live, made manifest.
HANAN ASHRAWI: (by phone from Ramallah) "We formed a women's coalition. We discussed whether we want to be a protest movement, a women's coalition against the occupation, and decided "no," we want to be for something&emdash;for peace building, not just for making peace, but to build peace."
Gold from dross,diamond from carbon&emdash;
this alchemy is easy
compared with
love from hate,
clarity from bloodied
wound.
-- Patricia Smith Melton
Interested in joining the Global Network of Peace By Peace? Go to the website.