October 22, 2001 Home Back Issues

In my opinion: Hatred of women causes continuing war Column by Leslie McIntrye

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The war being raged in Afghanistan is nothing new. Five thousand years of male rule have demonstrate that war is its tool of last resort. Underlying all these conflagrations is a deep hatred of women. I am of the opinion that nothing will change very much UNTIL women are restored to our place of respect in the world, period. War is just about the only thing that is studied under the guise of "history" in school. We give a constant diet of this story to our children as they grow year after year and then we wonder why our kids are killing each other. We kill the very spirits of our children by teaching them that this hatred is normal. Children then, mostly boys, want to enact what they learn about this violence through video games, and war toys. Violence is sanctioned. My friend told me that her friend's six-year-old son, when he saw the planes fly into the Trade Towers, exclaimed "cool." And in this sanctioned violence, males are glorified as the heroes while females are demonized as "things" to use and abuse. This is still true in this country. In Afghanistan, the fundamentalist Muslim teachings that women are evil are drilled into the hearts and minds of young boys who grow up with a fervor to hate women. On TV we hear information about Afghanistan's grievous past that includes a sentimental musing of Genghis Khan spoken in the same breath by the narrator who is telling us of the ruin caused by the Taliban forces and the current desecration taking place there. We are supposed to revere Genghis Khan and differentiate him from the Taliban, or the Northern Alliance? The forms that the hatred of women takes range on a continuum. But, hatred is hatred, and all this hatred causes the terrible pain that we are experiencing now. The wanton and overt hatred of women in Afghanistan is not different from the wanton destruction of the rain forests. This out-of-control hatred is what allows the patriarchal mind to exert "power over" because it is under the "depression" that domination is viable. It is completely and unequivocally insane to think that exerting control over other is life-affirming. Until this is named in our circles of outcry and opposition, nothing much will change. Until we say that sexism must end, racism will continue. You cannot simultaneously hate women and create peace in the world. It simply is not possible. It is my opinion that all our efforts towards peace are in vain until we come to the understanding that the very root of all this misery and suffering is the result of the projection of men's fear of women's power onto women. This projection makes it possible to hate life because it creates a terrible and vast fear, which breeds hatred. When this projection is taken back, women will be able to resume our rightful place as equals -- as the mothers that we are, the givers of life. When people respect the givers of life, the hatred of women will disappear. When this hatred disappears, the Bin Ladens and the McVeighs in the world will know their connectedness to that which gave them life, and they will not want to cause harm, for they will know that in hurting others, they hurt themselves. They will see the tears of the mothers and would not want to do anything that hurts the children, and they will remember that they, too, were once gentle children, and will have compassion for any suffering they might cause. But this will not happen until the truth is spoken. And speaking the truth in the presence of males, even those that say they want peace, is daunting. It is daunting because in patriarchy men are privileged. In order for men to really be supportive of peace, they have to come to terms with their own misogyny and deal with it. I do not want to attend meetings for peace with men who have not done this work, because the same consciousness, the same projection, exists there in the unconscious in a microcosmic reality. This kind of privilege knows no cultural boundaries. It is this very real thing, the very root of this global suffering, this projection, that must be addressed. We can study our spiritual teachings, and we can gather for peace, as many of us have been doing for over thirty years now, and we can see that protesting this war is not different than protesting the Vietnam war. It is all the same. The root cause has not been addressed. We can read what the Dalai Lama or Thich Nat Han write about peace and subduing anger, but they don't really address this projection of men's fear of women's power onto women. We can practice being kind and compassionate, which is wonderful, but to truly transform this out-of-control egoic destruction, we must return to the love of the Great Mother, who is waiting for us to "get it". We must find within our own connection to Her, call Her by name, see Her face in the mountains and clouds, hear Her melodies in the springs and rivers, and open our hearts to the gift of life so purely reflected in the eyes of our children. We must summon up the deep and profound reverence that our planet is crying for. Until we do this, until this crazy fear is laid to rest, not much will change. I feel that men have a great deal of work to do in order to understand the projection that comes from their privilege and arrogance. And it is the work of women to dis-identify from this projection and reclaim our true heritage and no longer allow this projection to define who we are. All of this takes great courage, as we see in our Afghan sisters in the Revolutionary Association of Women of Afghanistan who are risking their lives to be free. Though I know that some Afghan men suffer under the Taliban, I wonder what kind of deep self-reflection they might be doing to undo what their own participation in the patriarchal mind set has contributed to the intense hatred of women there. It is my prayer that those of us who understand and hear the cry of the Mother at this time in our short human existence on this beautiful planet can stand strong like a redwood tree on the ground of our being and not waver in our conviction to speak the truth. Until women are free, no one is free. Until women are restored to our rightful place, the Mother will be waiting. Who knows how long and how patient She is? Leslie McIntyre, mother of four, is a "shemama" whose work it is to heal the wounds of women. She is a founding member of Awakened Woman's Circle. Contact her.