My
journey to the goddess Kwan
Yin,
the Celestial Bodhisattva of Compassion, began
with the deepest skepticism. Up until Kwan Yin's
appearance, I had been so politically focused that
goddesses existed somewhere far outside my realm. But
once Kwan Yin moved into my mind and heart (and my house,
where her image is everywhere), I was set upon a path
that still sometimes surprises me.
For
twenty years
I
have been doing a type of Buddhist meditation called
Vipassana (as practiced in Theravada Buddhism), have
studied in a Tibetan Buddhist Institute, and have
meditated in Zen centers. I came to Buddhism in about
1980 after a decade of intense activism in the women's
liberation movement and the antinuclear movement, and
found no contradiction between Buddhist practice and
political activism. The two seemed to make a circle,
carrying me out into the world to effect change, then
bringing me back inside to connect deeply with myself in
meditation and study, the two movements strengthening and
sustaining each other.
Back
in 1980,
one
of my initial attractions to Buddhist practice was that
there was no god (or goddess) in Buddhism, no overweening
divine presence that one was supposed to venerate and
obey. Vipassana or Theravada Buddhism, the kind I chose
to practice, is very spare, a striving to achieve
Ïbare, attention. Certainly there are no divine
beings involved.
I
was able to travel in Southeast
Asia
to see Buddhism as it is practiced in primarily Buddhist
cultures, and to live briefly as a Theravada Buddhist nun
in Sri Lanka. Here at home, I have helped organize
several national Women and Buddhism conferences, and have
written two books on the subject. Turning the Wheel
presents an overview of the whole phenomenon of American
women's participation in Buddhist practice, including
eighty interviews and photographs. Opening the Lotus is a
primer on the basic Buddhist concepts, with some
discussion of the kinds of questions asked by women, and
some directions for beginning practices.
In
Mahayana Buddhism, there
are divine emanations, but when I went to a
Mahayana Institute, I studied the abhidharma,the
so-called higher teachings. Nothing devotional there!
Then in 1982 I had my first encounter with Kwan Yin. I
was passing through Kansas City, when a friend said to
me, "I want to take you downtown, there's someone I want
you to meet." We went to the Nelson Atkins Museum, and
into a room that held a single stunning statue. She was
life-size, carved from wood in 12th or 13th century
China. A beautiful, richly dressed woman seated with one
leg propped up, in a strong, commanding posture. In her
presence I experienced a powerful range of emotions, from
grief to delight and everything in-between, as if she
allowed me to experience the fullness of what it is to be
human. And in her form I sensed a deep serenity. I bought
a postcard of this image of Kwan Yin and put it on the
car seat next to me as I drove east from Kansas City.
Kwan Yin was now part of my life.
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So
who is Kwan Yin? She
is, first of all, the pre-eminent goddess in all
of Asia. You find her in China, Korea, Japan,
Vietnam, Burma, Thailand and other countries.
Then, in the Buddhist tradition, she is the
Celestial Bodhisattva of Compassion. What is a
bodhisattva? That is someone who does spiritual
practice with the goal of achieving full
enlightenment, but just before she arrives at
that point, she turns back into the world and
says, "No, I will not achieve liberation until
all beings have been set free." Then she steps
into the world and works to alleviate suffering
and to awaken beings to their true nature.
Kwan
Yin appeared
again and again in my life in the following
years. I made some efforts to learn about her,
discovering that she is called "She Who Hears
the Cries of the World," and that her image can
be easily consonant with social action. In 1983,
as my affinity group prepared to go out to the
Lawrence-Livermore Laboratories to protest the
designing of nuclear weapons that goes on there,
we met to do a "Metta" or lovingkindness
meditation. Very
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much in the spirit of Kwan Yin, we called up in ourselves
kind and compassionate feelings for all beings, including
the University of California policemen who would arrest
us and the employees of the laboratory whose livelihoods
depended on the production of nuclear weapons. We relied
upon the meditation to help us maintain a nonviolent
demeanor in the midst of the very chaotic and sometimes
violent situation of a demonstration that involved many
hundreds of people.
In
other ways Kwan Yin
entered
my life. I read John Blofeld's Bodhisattva of Compassion
about her. With a friend I designed greeting cards
bearing Kwan Yin's image. Then in 1995, on my way to
China to attend the United Nations Fourth World
Conference on Women, I set out to find Kwan Yin in her
birthplace. I discovered an island off Shanghai in the
South China Sea called Putuo Shan, where it is said Kwan
Yin resides, and where pilgrims have come for hundreds of
years to commune with her. With a Chinese-American friend
I spent six days on Putuo Shan. There I experienced how
strongly Kwan Yin is expressed in nature, in the sound of
the waves on the beach, in the sea wind, the heat of the
sun, the buzzing of cicadas in the trees. My friend and I
both had powerful experiences of connection with the
compassionate energy of Kwan Yin.
A
month after I returned from China,
I
was diagnosed with cancer
and told I must have major surgery in a week and would
probably have to undergo chemotherapy treatments for
months afterwards. In my shock and dismay, I found myself
talking to Kwan Yin. I walked in the graveyard near my
house and called upon her, saying, "Help me." Of course I
hoped she would appear, hovering in the branches of one
of the beautiful old trees, looking tenderly down at me.
That did not happen. But there was an answer to my plea.
The answer came deeply from myself, and it sustained me
in the trial that followed. I had begun to understand
that Kwan Yin is not a way to focus outward but her
image, wholeheartedly addressed, gives us a way to go
deeply into ourselves.
During
the six months of weekly
chemotherapy
treatments that followed the surgery, Kwan Yin spoke to
me most strongly through a piece of music. "She Carries
Me," a chant composed and performed by singer/songwriter
Jennifer Berezan, evokes Kwan Yin in a context of the
Great Goddess and the Virgin Mary. Each morning I
listened to this beautiful long chanting of women's
voices and felt the confirmation of my deeper nature,
that place in myself that precedes suffering, and when
the chant ended I knew I could do what I had to, that
day, to promote my healing.
Ultimately
I was able to stand up for myself
and
reject the chemotherapy when it became too toxic. Because
of my meditation practice and my daily contact with that
compassionate Kwan Yin energy, I could listen to my body
and heed its message. My body said, "Stop the chemo." And
I did.
When
I recovered, I studied Kwan Yin in
earnest,
reading the few books on her, the Blofeld book and Kwan
Yin: Myths and Prophecies of the Chinese Goddess of
Compassion by Martin Palmer and Jay Ramsay, with Man Ho
Kwok, as well as numerous scholarly articles, most
notably by Chun Fang Yu. Then a few years ago, in a class
I teach called Writing Your Spiritual Journey, a student
asked me, "Why is there no book on Kwan Yin written by a
woman?" Intriguing question. I knew then that such a book
needed to be written, but I did not yet know that I would
write it.
The
quality of
compassion
is
highly stressed in Buddhism. Kwan Yin in embodying it
brings to the fore something very much needed in
contemporary life. She expresses qualities that can
soften and strengthen us, reminding us that compassion
can be both tender and fierce.
To
research the book
Discovering
Kwan Yin,
I
investigated the presence and influence of Kwan Yin in
the lives of North American women, both Asian-American
and other women. One of the most interesting elements of
Kwan Yin's story is how she transformed from a male
figure into a female one. She was brought to China in the
fifth century as the male bodhisattva Avalokitesvara; in
the next three hundred years she mysteriously transformed
into the female Guan Shih Yin or Kwan Yin. How did that
happen! Well, she came into the world embodied in actual
flesh-and-blood women. There would be a child who was
particularly kind and sweetly accepting, she would grow
into a compassionate woman who did many good deeds for
others; sometimes she would even sacrifice her life to
save others. Then, after her death, through various
magical signs, it would be understood that this had not
been an ordinary woman but was a sacred being, the
goddess Kwan Yin. Many stories in China relate this
history, and that is why there are so many different
forms of the Chinese Kwan Yin or Guan Shih Yin.
Kwan
Yin is actively involved in people's
lives.
She arrives to save people from disaster, she grants
their wishes, she watches over them. She is not a remote
divinity but a familiar spirit, moving among us, teaching
us compassion. Because Kwan Yin has that propensity to be
present in daily life, I wanted to explore her presence
in the lives of actual contemporary women, and also to
give people some practices with which to contact her and
keep her present in their lives. All that became the text
of Discovering Kwan Yin, Buddhist Goddess of Compassion.
Kwan
Yin Retreats
Since
the publication of that book I have been asked to lead
retreats based upon the Kwan Yin material. In the last
several months I have led one-day retreats in Sacramento,
Tucson, Berkeley, and Fort Bragg. I've also led a
three-day retreat at Cloud Mountain Retreat Center in
Washington state.Through my experience teaching these
retreats I have come to understand how much people need
nurturing. Many of the participants have been caregivers:
therapists, ministers, social workers, mothers, teachers
in the schools, nurses; they are rarely in a situation in
which their needs are met, their emotions honored, their
deeper thoughts elicited. These women (and a few men)
apparently benefited strongly from the one day or three
days they spent with me, a time of compassionate
self-nurturing through the energy of the bodhisattva Kwan
Yin.
The
day is grounded in meditation, both sitting and walking.
Newcomers particularly like the walking meditation, which
allows them to concentrate more strongly. Then we do
practices to evoke a compassionate state of mind, each
participant being encouraged to bring her own experience
into the group. People are asked to bring something to
put on the altar (cherished object, picture of a loved
one in trouble, image of Kwan Yin, other), and we talk
about the significance of these objects. This sharing is
often quite profound, with the telling of intimate
feelings, worries, and hopes.
As
the day progresses, I share my own history with Kwan Yin
and lead a guided meditation invoking her. In the
meditation I play a tape of "She Carries Me," the chant
by singer/songwriter Jennifer Berezan which evokes Kwan
Yin's energy as well as the energy of the Great Goddess
and the Virgin Mary. Later in the day, after another
sitting and walking sequence, I define and discuss the
concept of empowered or fierce compassion (in distinction
to the programmed self-sacrifice that is expected of
women) and I offer examples of giving this and of
receiving it. Then we do some writing, evoking situations
in our own life in which we were able to act with strong
compassion, or to receive it. And then we share these
experiences in small groups. I tell about my sojourn on
Putuo Shan island, and we do a meditation in
nature.
The
day ends with our learning of the traditional chant to
Kwan Yin as sung in China--"Namo Guan-shih-yin Pusa" with
the appropriate melody, and we chant this. Finally there
is a circle in which the participants are given the
opportunity to express one aspect of their experience
that day, and we end. The three-day retreat contains more
elements, but is done in the same spirit. This longer
session allows people to go much more deeply into their
experience. (The retreat has been given in a city Zen
center, the banquet room of a restaurant, a country
retreat center, and a Masonic hall.).
In
several places men participated, but overwhelmingly it
has been women who have been drawn to this experience.
There were also a lot of people who were new to Buddhist
meditation: Christians, a Sufi woman, people from the
Siddha Yoga tradition, college students who were studying
women and religion, as well as some seasoned Buddhist
meditators. I make sure that no one is left behind, that
no prior knowledge of meditation is needed and that
everyone can feel comfortable and included.
I
keep
learning more and more about Kwan Yin, recognizing that
she is a universal container for compassionate, light,
playful energy. Each time I lead a retreat I feel a
heightened appreciation for her and for the effect she
has on people, allowing us to draw closer to our own true
nature.
Sandy
Boucher is the author of six books, three of them on
the subject of Women and Spirituality. She lives,
writes, and teaches in Oakland, CA., and leads Kwan
Yin retreats throughout the United States. Anyone
interested in exploring the possibility of organizing
a retreat may contact her at 3912 Forest Hill Ave.,
Oakland, Ca.94602-2416. Tel: (510)530-0812. e-mail:
Sandbou@aol.com.
To
order books by Sandy Boucher, go to Powell's
Independent Bookstore:
Or
Amazon.com:
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