July 23, 2003
Awakened Woman's Circle is working for peace
Wise Words
What I learned from the Dalai Lama
by Justine Willis Toms
In 1989 Michael and I attended a conference in Costa Rica
entitled, "Seeking the True Meaning of Peace." The highlight
of that event was the presence of His Holiness the Dalai
Lama. During a talk given by the esteemed Tibetan leader
someone in the audience asked him why he appeared so happy
all the time, and why he kept working on behalf of Tibet
when there seemed so little likelihood of a successful
outcome. The Chinese are well entrenched and the possibility
of his being able to return to a free and independent Tibet
seems remote.
He responded with such simplicity and power that it changed my life forever. He said he did not choose to be pessimistic, because it made him feel bad. It was better to arise in the morning feeling positive and he felt better when he was optimistic. He went on to say that he didn't know what the outcome of his work on behalf of his native land and the Tibetan people would be. It may improve or it may not. He didn't know the future. However, he did what he did, because it was the right and good thing for him to do, not because it may result in a positive conclusion. It gave his life meaning to do what he felt was the right action.
In that moment I knew that I had been hedging my bets which kept me from acting on what I know to be right and good with my full and positive energies. I then decided to go for what I believed to be right and good no matter what. I haven't been able to turn entrenched habits of negative thinking around overnight, but I'm making progress and I keep at it. What I do know is that I feel better and that gives me more energy to continue to act in positive ways to influence the future.
We must ask ourselves the question, "Should I hedge my bets in case the future is going to turn out much more terrible than I hope it will?" Or should we go for what we know to be right and good, no matter what trusting in a generous universe and let our overarching intention lead us to act in positive ways to influence the future?
Hanging Out in
the Landscape of Difficulties
By Justine Willis Toms
Recently at a New Dimensions staff meeting I was reminded of a time when I was serving on a board of directors of another nonprofit organization. It was going through some difficulties and the twelve or so of us were working hard to figure out some next steps to recommend to the Executive Committee. I found myself feeling uneasy and pressed to find a solution. It was heavy going and I felt uncomfortable and stuck in the throes of the dilemma. So, I chirped up brightly, "I know what we should do. We should break up into three groups and each come up with an answer and then come back and compare our answers to decide which is the best one." I was so proud of myself. My theory, to divide us up in order to conquer the difficulty, seemed like such a reasonable approach. I was sure we could then move quickly to the more enjoyable activity of finding solutions. For me, coming up with possibilities is much more uplifting than hanging out in the muck and mire of the predicament.
However, I was overruled as a fellow board member said something I will never forget. He made a statement that forever changed my view of creative, problem solving. He said, "Justine, I appreciate your suggestion, but I'm not ready to start looking at solutions. I need to hang out in the landscape of the difficulty some more before I feel I can start to look at solutions."
Because I had a low tolerance in hanging out with problems, my tendency was to move quickly to solution. Realizing this preference helped me to see how I was not serving the overall health of the organization. Now, through the years, I find it exciting to hang out in the landscape of the obstruction. It is somewhat like unraveling tangled string. No doubt we can find many issues in our lives that are bound up by invisible knots of energy. Through practice I've found by loosening the snarled strands that hold a particular situation together, I will quite often uncover the perfect solution embedded in the unraveling. It was in that board meeting so many years ago I began to realize that creative solutions are very deeply connected to the dynamics that created the perplexity in the first place. By understanding the pathway that led to the knotted strands that have a strangle hold on what's not working, a plethora of possibilities will inevitably reveal themselves. By unraveling the knots of energy and staying in the landscape of concern with curiosity and detached awareness one has a better chance to find creative solutions. Staying with the challenge until it is fully understood is the key.
© 2002 Justine Willis Toms
Justine Toms, with her husband Michael, creates the New
Dimensions radio program. She lives in Ukiah,
California