July 1, 2002
Gathering The Gifts
Patricia Lynn Reilly
In this season of transitionI offer a pause, a reflection, and a meditation
to support you and those you love...
Are you in that in-between life-space, neither here nor there, stepping into the unknown as you begin a new life-situation or leave a career, relationship, way of life, or self-understanding? Has the transition been thrust upon you without your consent: the predictability of your life, relationship, or health shattered into a hundred pieces due to an unexpected diagnosis or the sudden loss of a job or loved one?
Is the transition chosen: are you leaving a good job for an even better one, are you bringing closure to an effective therapeutic relationship, or moving beyond no-longer-working friendship or partnership? Is the transition part of the benevolent flow of your life: are you graduating from high school, college, or graduate school, or celebrating a "milestone" birthday?
A Pause
In times of transition, it is essential to stay present and in touch with life's organic resources: the groundedness of our breath, the wisdom of your woman-bodies, and the spirit resident within our lives.
Gathering the Gifts of Your Breath
Return home to your breath. Turn your attention inward by taking a few deep breaths. Become conscious of the breath and its faithful rhythm, supporting you the length of your days. Savor the breath of life as it flows in and through and around you. On each inhalation, gather yourself from the far reaches of your life. Bring your energy and attention "home." On each exhalation, release the accumulation of your day. Allow sighs, sounds, and yawns to ride on the back of each exhalation to support your letting go, your settling into this moment. Breathing in, gather. Breathing out, let go.
Affirm: The Breath, from which all life unfolds. . . (Pause for one breath.)
The Breath, in which past, present, and future meet. . . (Pause for one breath.)
Breath, I gather your gifts. (Pause for one breath.)
Gathering the Gifts of Your Body
Return home to your body. As you continue to breathe deeply, turn your attention toward your body. Make conscious contact with your body: move or stretch it, touch or massage it, or imagine the breath reaching into each part of your body. Meet each body sensation with the breath and your own healing, acknowledging touch. If your attention moves away from home, away from your breath and body, away from this moment, notice the distraction without judgment, and then practice returning home. There will always be distractions. Our life-practice is to return. Breathe again into this moment. Home is always waiting.
Affirm: The Body, from which all life unfolds. (Pause for one breath.)
The Body, in which past, present, and future meet. (Pause for one breath.)
Body, I gather your gifts. (Pause for one breath.)
Gathering the Gifts of Your Inner Life
Return home to your inner life. Escorted by the breath and body, we continue our descent. Imagine yourself as a leaf let go of by an autumn tree, a leaf slowly and gradually descending toward the ground, its descent cushioned by the breath of life, a leaf touching the ground in the forest deep within your being. Make conscious contact with the ground of your being through prayer, an expression of openness, a movement, or in the quietness of the breath.
Affirm: The ground, from which all life unfolds. (Pause for one breath.)
The ground, in which past, present, and future meet. (Pause for one breath.)
Ground of my being/Source of my life, I gather your gifts. (Pause for one breath.)
Home is always waiting. It is as near as a conscious breath, conscious contact with your body, and a descent into the creative resources of your inner life. Ascend again into this time and space, bringing with you the gifts of your descent.
A Creative Reflection: The Transitional Moment
Transitions invite us to reflect on where we've been and to gather wisdom for the journey ahead. The temptation is to create a new situation prematurely to "save" us from the awkwardness of fully participating in the transition. Firmly held in this present moment, turn toward the job, person, program, or perspective you are leaving with an open heart and mind to appreciate its gifts and to learn from its challenges. In this way you will infuse the transition with clarity, consciousness, and gratitude.
1. Turning Toward
Gather photos, momentos, tangible objects and writings, representing the situation you are leaving. Create a room-size or table-size display of the items you gather. Or write down your reflections in a special journal or notebook as suggested in the examples below.
2. The Challenges of Life
Move forward through the experience, represented by your display or written reflection. Pay special attention to the difficulties as you review your gathering. If you are moved, draw the hurtful experiences, write about the painful exchanges, or dance the awkward moments.
3. The Gifts of Life
Travel again through the experience/relationship you are leaving, as represented by your display or written reflection. This time pay special attention to the delightful moments as you pass through them. If you are moved, draw the joyful experiences, write about the comfortable exchanges, or dance the bright moments.
4. Gratitude
Now that you have acknowledged the trouble and the beauty, the gift and the challenge of the situation you are leaving, embrace the totality of your experience with gratitude.
Breathing in: In gratitude, I bless what has been.
Breathing out: There is no blemish.
Breathing in: I bless the difficult and hurtful aspects of the experience,
Breathing out: The painful exchanges and awkward moments.
Breathing in: I celebrate the delightful and joyful experiences.
Breathing out: The comfortable exchanges and bright moments.
Breathing in: In gratitude, I bless what has been.
Breathing out: There is no blemish.
A Creative Reflection: Turning Toward the Future
Grounded in this moment where past and future meet, supported by the breath, turn toward the future. Imagine a woman whose vow is her north star, her guiding light, the faithful breath she returns to in the midst of the "creative chaos" of transition. A woman whose vow supports her to embrace her own life, valuing its lessons above the prescriptions of experts. Whose vow supports her to participate fully in the challenges of life, using them as an opportunity to sharpen her skills for conscious living and to deepen her partnership with herself. Imagine yourself as this woman. . . as you compose a vow of faithfulness to yourself.
Susan: "Having grown in knowledge and love of myself during five years of the therapy, I now turn toward the future with confidence. I vow to remain faithful to the insights gained on my journey of self-discovery: I will celebrate my anger and strength. I will no longer look to men to express my assertiveness. I will celebrate my intensity of feeling and consciousness, energizing every task I set out to accomplish. I will celebrate my powerful perception, bringing clarity to my introverted adventures and to my extroverted interactions. . ."
Barbara: "I vow to travel lightly through my years. I will not to carry baggage from one experience of life to another. I vow to hold in high esteem the intensity of my intelligence, vitality, strength, sensitivity, and sensuality. I refuse the self-critical mantra: I am too intense. I will celebrate my intensity as a gift of life and its expression in word, image, dance, and erotic interaction as the gift I offer back to life. . ."
Jacqui: "I vow to bring into my new relationship: my ability to stay in the present moment, observing my feelings, thoughts, impulses, and behaviors, without judgment; my sense of humor; my strong desire to live a peaceful and compassionate life; my accountability for what I say and do; and my growing willingness to be vulnerable."
Try writing your own vow. Follow your creative impulses. Begin the vow with these words: "Grounded in this moment where past and future meet, supported by my breath, I now turn toward the future..." Review your vow monthly and renew it yearly. Regularly cultivate your partnership with yourself. It is the best investment you can make to guarantee graceful and conscious transitions.
Written by Patricia Lynn Reilly
Excerpted from I Promise Myself (Conari, 2000)