January 6, 2003
Awakened Woman's Circle is working for peace
Dancing Daughters
A Small Circle
by Susan Marie Doyle
We pray at circle time. We create our own rituals, finding our way back to the Feminine Divine, honoring the Mother in ways that are at once new yet very old, going back in time to our ancient mothers praying to the Mother Godde in Her many forms and many names.
It has been a four generation journey out of the patriarchal church of my upbringing. First, my Irish Catholic grandmother married a man who wasn't an Irishman or a Roman Catholic. She sent her daughter to public school. When the nuns at Sunday school told this daughter that her father would not go to Heaven because he wasn't Catholic, the seed of doubt was planted in the fertile soil of a daughter's love for her father, a good man. My mother raised her daughters to think for themselves.
I grew up honoring that grandmother, who died when I was seven. Not knowing any better, as a little girl I prayed to her, my Nana who was in heaven. This love grew to include honoring the Blessed Mother, which, years later, became prayer to the Mother Godde to whom, I realized, I had been praying all along.
My daughters, who were then young women of eleven and seven, wanted to know why we went to a church that wouldn't ordain women, that imaged Godde as male only; why, when I so strongly disagreed with all of that, did we continue to go? Wise questions.
I loved church, but I gradually came to realize that it was the rituals, the candles, the quiet sacred space of an empty church, the feeling of Spirit that was there. I had questioned and dismissed so much of the dogma for so long, I was barely aware of how I accepted some and rejected most. It was being close to sacred space, the comforting, familiar rituals that kept me there.
Why? Why, indeed, did I want to raise my daughters in a church, a religion that not only did not honor women, but denigrated women, shoved them into submissive, inferior roles? No, I didn't, my husband didn't. And so we left.
It took a year to be comfortable with our decision, to find new ways to pray, to replace what we had left behind. We considered other churches, but there was too much of what we had left behind. We tried to recreate church at home, but at first it felt hollow.
Finally, we opened our hearts and our spirits to the wisdom of the Mother, wisdom that had been there all along. We create sacred space in our home. We go out to nature for our spiritual rejuvenation, we pray together in a circle, and privately in our own quiet space. We give back to our community on our own terms, as individuals and as a family. Each of my daughters and myself have created our own sacred altars. We learn, we read, we share with other women.
It is growing, this movement of women's circles and dancing daughters, women who honor the Sacred Feminine, the Mother Godde in all her names and forms. We started with the sacred books we knew but have moved on, up the spiral, to find the sacred writings of women. We discovered that the books we choose do not need to be recognized by a patriarchal church or council, they only need to speak Truth. These sacred writings are everywhere, whereever a daughter of the Mother Godde wrote from her heart and her spirit, whenever a daughter of the Mother lifted up her eyes, looked within and shared her own truth, for each truth is sacred. Currently we are reading Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gift From the Sea" during our circle time. My now eight year old told me today how much she enjoys listening to this book, and being able to discuss it each time we have circle time. She likes how she is very much a part of circle time, bringing her own readings, her own thoughts. She says this is much better than sitting and listening and reciting as part of a large congregation. Her favorite Mother Godde images are Mary Magdalene, reclaimed as part of the Sacred Union, and the Celtic Goddess Brigid.
We have a women's prayer circle, my daughters and I. Each of us bring something to our circle time. We bring things to read - poems, essays, stories, prayers. We light candles and we honor the Mother. And as I watch, I see them looking at the world differently. These young women do not model themselves after the conventions of a patriarchal society, they do not need permission but rather give themselves permission to be and to grow, to love and to learn. They have their own truth and they are not afraid to speak it. One daughter stands up to the bully who tells her that if she does not believe in his jealous male god, he hates her. But she stands up just the same. They stand up to the children who bully the playmate who is different. They care for Mother Earth and all her creatures. They are learning the way of the Mother and to care for the Earth and for others.
It seemed scary at first, leaving the church where I grew up, where I was taught it was the one truth faith, the church that held the sacraments, the keys on the road from birth to death. It was familiar routine, the stained glass windows and the votive candles and the familiar rituals. Leaving it was lonely and sometimes we felt lost. But slowly, we have learned to approach that which is holy and divine on our own. And while it is difficult, it has opened our hearts and souls.
Godde is always there. We need only listen. We do not need permission from patriarchs in power. We only need open our own soul and let in the Sacred Divine. Be still in your knowing, trust your own spirit, listen to children. Simply be still. Let go of old ways so that the new ways will have the space to fill you, to grow.
You can create your own sacred space and sacred rituals, you can take what you know and bring what you need. We liked the readings and the storytelling, so we read and tell stories of Godde and spirit and faith and nurturing and kindness. We liked the candles and rituals and peaceful space and so we have created that in our home. We always have felt the presence of the Spirit in nature and so we go to the mountains and the forests and the ocean to find that presence. Sometimes we simply go outside, to see a beautiful moon or a starlit night or sit in quiet and watch the sunrise.
Our world so desperately needs to reclaim the Feminine Divine, the Mother Godde, both within the organized, patriarchal religions and without. We need Her wisdom, we need Her guidance. Each women's circle takes us further along that path. Our women's circle is small, it numbers only three. But three is a sacred number, three is a beginning. My daughters are learning to dance rather than to be submissive and obedient. They listen to the inner joy, with reverence. They are Dancing Daughters of the Mother. Blessed Be.
Susan Marie Doyle is a freelance writer and photographer and the unschooling mother to three children. She lives in Salisbury, Maryland with her husband, children and assorted pets.