January 7, 2004
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Students at Montclair State University, they came to visit the Women's Council
Two young Afghan women traveled to the Bay Area from a university in New Jersey where they are students, to spend the holidays as the guests of Asma Eschen and the Women's Council of Sonoma County.
Ms. Alean Haider, 23, and her friend Ms. Samira Panah, 22, both from Kabul, are attending Montclair State University thanks to a special scholarship program, The Initiative to Educate Afghan Women (IEA), which was spearheaded in 2002 by Paula Nirschel, wife of the President of Roger Williams University. Under this program, Afghan women receive full scholarships to attend American universities with the goal of returning home country to put their education to work.
The story of how Alean came to study here demonstrates how spontaneously the global women's network can spring into action.
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Alean with Councilwomen Stephanie Hiller (left) and Diana Young |
Alean is a member of the Women's Peace Circle in Kabul that is linked with the Women's Council through Peacexpeace, a women's networking organization that establishes partnerships between women's circles here and abroad. When still in Kabul, she handled the Peace Circle's correspondence with members of the Women's Council. A high school graduate, she was employed at the UN and had access to the Internet. In one of her letters she had expressed her desire to attend college "in a developed country."
It was at the Women's Council's first benefit on behalf of the Peace Circle that the group learned of the IEA program. Asma Aschen, an Afghan American who lives in neighboring Marin County had been invited to speak about Afghanistan. Her friend, Marsha MacColl, brought brochures describing the program.
From that moment, arrangements were blessed with the kind of serendipitous connections that make it so much easier to accomplish anything and are a persuasive sign that the project is on the right track.
Diane Rae Schulz, one of the members of the Council, sent the brochure to Alean. She applied for the program and was accepted!
That summer, Asma Eschen returned to Kabul for the first time in 30 years with her 19-year old American-born daughter, Elise. The two were part of a group from Marin County on a Global Exchange tour. Asma offered to deliver some books from the Women's Council to their friends in Kabul. There she met Alean.
Asma, who is Director of the pre-kindergarten program at the Strawberry Pre-school in Tiburon, returned to the States with a sense of "being called" to help Afghanistan. She was charged with the feeling of hope that she encountered in the country after the roust of the Taliban; people there were eager to start new businesses, open schools, and repair the devastation of 22 years of war. She is developing some business ideas for Afghan people and in the meantime has undertaken to collect and send 250 soccer balls to Afghanistan "so that the kids can have soccer balls!"
Asma was so happy that Alean won the scholarship that she wanted to invite her to her home for the Christmas holiday. That was just what the Council wanted to do. Council member Mervis Reissig contributed frequent flyer miles on Southwest Airlines. At Alean's request, Samira joined the fun, and on December 21 the two arrived in Oakland Airport for a two week visit.
Meeting them was a thrill for the American women.
"I was terribly impressed with Alean's maturity, her ability to communicate with every body, as well as being incredibly sweet," said Diane Schulz. "She's really using everything available to her to become a shining example of her country's people."
Said Mervis Reissig, a Financial Consultant originally from Kansas who now lives in Rohnert Park: "The personal connection with people from other countries is so much more beneficial to understanding the world than any media we might get. It does far more to prevent terrorism than any bombs or governments can do. Educating everyone on both sides is just so critical to creating a world of peace."
Mervis was struck by the way the women were "gently breaking" with a tradition that expects girls to marry early, choosing instead to study so that they could help their country. But at the same time, they retain their respect for their family tradition, letting their parents know that when they are ready to get married, they will follow the long-established ways.
They do not date in their country and will not be dating here, they informed us. Although a man and a woman may choose each other for marriage, their union must be approved by their two families.
The injunction against unchaperoned dating is not the only tradition they are maintaining here. Alean eats no meat in the United States because it has not been slaughtered according to Muslin standards. And although both women wore modern attire and did not always cover their heads, they did make sure that they were tastefully dressed from neck to toe. Neither girl smokes or uses intoxicants.
The two women kept a busy schedule during their stay in the Bay Area. They were interviewed by Pacifica Radio, they spoke before an Interfaith Youth Group, they attended a party held in their honor by Ingrid Kepler in her Berkeley home. And Alean came to Sonoma County to meet with the Women's Council at a gathering at Leslene della Madre's in Sebastopol. She stayed overnight with council member Stephanie Hiller, and spent the next day touring along the Coast with Mervis and Diane. Asma's friend Marsha MacColl took them to the Nutcracker, they enjoyed a traditional Christmas with the Eschen family and on New Year's Eve they were escorted to a concert of Afghan music in Fremont.
Asma was overwhelmed with "their heartfelt humbleness, and how gracious they are." Spending time with them was like "being in another dimension" for her and for her family.
Everyone was impressed with their intelligence, their command of English, and their commitment to helping the people of their country, especially the women. Alean Haider told what it was like, teaching in the "secret schools", as she did in her family home, under the rule of the Taliban, who strictly forbade educating girls. Since the Taliban were stationed across the street, schedules were arranged to conceal the unlawful schooling. It was, Alean said, frightening.
Alean has also been a member of the All Afghan Women's Union, an organization for women's equality founded by Suraya Perlika, who was one of the delegates to the Loya Jirga last month. After finishing high school, Alean took a job at the United Nations, supporting her entire family of 6 members. It wasn't safe to be on the streets, so she traveled directly to work and directly home. Now her father, a judge, works in the office of Harmid Karzai, Afghanistan's acting President.
Samira's father had been a judge. The whole family left Afghanistan before the Taliban and lived in Pakistan. They returned to Kabul after the Taliban was driven out, where they live in a nice modern apartment that Samira likes. Samira worked for USAID and other NGOs before coming here.
Both women take their education quite seriously. Alean is studying Economics and International Relations and Samira, International Relations. Alean said she was surprised by how much partying goes on at the University; she thinks American students don't realize how fortunate they are to have these opportunities and that they should use their time to best advantage. She was enthusiastic about her own experience in the United States, especially meeting "such nice people who care about Afghan people." Her warmth and humor were very engaging.
Samira has a straight-up, no-bones-about-it attitude. She loves shopping and has a hearty interest in making money. Asked at the Youth meeting what they thought of Mr. Karzai, Samira jumped in and said they couldn't answer questions about politics. Apparently they were so advised when applying for their student visas and also by the scholarship program.
Both women were enthusiastic about Afghanistan's future but not deluded about the immensity of the reconstruction as well as the challenges lurking behind the smiling face of the global economy.
Most of all, the magic of loving connection with two young women from a distant land will stay with all of us for a long time to come.